Sunday, 26 October 2014

Reflect and Rest

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My mind is the type which never stays quiet. I'm the type of person who worries endlessly about tiny things which don't really matter & I will think things through over + over again. Why? It's a personality type I guess. I know a lot of people who are similar. Having this mind constantly on the go I don't seem to get time to reflect on things. I'm not very good at resting either for the same reasons. But tonight, as I sit here typing away when I've been sleeping all day, is time for reflection.

Lately I have been asked 'so what are you doing now?' or 'what have you been up to?'. I've had old friends from school who I've bumped into, who are nearly finished uni or have jobs now. However, some are still not on the path they wish to be on. Some are looking for jobs. Some are just 'plodding along'. And some, like me, have had some unexpected twists in their paths. 

It's not until I start with my list that I realise just how much I've achieved. People seem amazed by my journey, where I was viewing it as I hadn't reached my destination yet. I don't even know myself where my destination is in all honesty, but I guess that's life, finding yourself.

So here's my list, top 5 things I've achieved whilst being ill:
  1. Getting my associate in ballet teaching. This allowed me to fulfil my dream of becoming a dance teacher. One which I thought was unlikely to come true even when I was well.
  2. Staying in education. Yep, I'm still doing my a levels, but hanging on in there for 5 years is pretty decent. Discovered many new talents and opportunities on the way too.
  3. Volunteering. I have over 1,700h voluntary work now and I mentor new leaders. I absolutely love what I do & I made some amazing friends from it too.
  4. Discovering myself. Although this one is not yet complete, I have discovered new talents and love for things which I never thought I would. I didn't have a clue I could sing, or draw, or do textiles.
  5. Proving people wrong. I can't count the number of times I've been told 'you can't do this' 'you won't be able to do that' 'you're too ill for x/y/z' and almost every time I've proved them wrong. I've become pretty good at adapting to situations and challenges now.
I think it's important for everyone to recognise their achievements once in awhile. Also, seeing things in a different manner helps too, after all, it's not about the destination - it's the journey.

'Comparison is the thief of joy'. I believe this is one of the most negative and demoting things which can happen. You have your own journey. Chances are, your destination isn't the same either. So why say 'oh she has done this' or 'I have done that'. Trying to be 'better' than someone doesn't necessarily matter. Jealousy is a horrible thing, and I make friends with those who are thankful and proud of everything you do. As long as you're happy with where you are and how you're doing, there's no need to compare. Just reflect on your journey and focus on what you want to achieve.

Never dim anyone else's light so you can shine. Just shine.

Enough for today, please, if you read this, take 5 minutes away from your smartphone/laptop and think of all the things you have achieved and are thankful for. It will do your mind the world of good.

Kate x

Thursday, 23 October 2014

My Happy List

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I firstly apologise for my very neglected blog. I guess I used to blog quite a bit when I was really poorly as it's an easy thing to do from my bed, but since making improvements other things have taken over. Not a bad thing, just a change, and here I am, writing my thoughts to the world again.

I thought I'd start blogging again this evening, I'm not sure why, although I know my friend Alex has had quite an influence on me. I have so much I want to talk about, I miss sharing my thoughts and ideas, and I guess blogging helps me sort them out in my head too, kind of therapeutic ey.

I've been feeling a bit sorry for myself today, too much stress & not a good enough immune system. But after having my casual breakdown I managed to think of all the things which make me happy. Hence, my happy list. People forget with their busy lives to appreciate the things which mean the most to them, and I think it's important to try take a minute to show your appreciation for people, places, feelings.. whatever you have to be thankful for.

My happy list
I have narrowed this down to 10..

  1. Family. Can't even tell you how much they mean, that's all that needs to be said.
  2. Health. Although it seems a bit hard to be thankful for at this very moment in time, I looked at my posts from beginning my blog and I've seen how far I've come. One lucky thing. 
  3. Friends. Today I felt alone and that everything was happening around me. I started getting messages to say get better soon, and then I received a box of donuts (and who cannot be cheered up by donuts?!) from Alex and Vic, what beautiful people.
  4. Learning new things. I absolutely love learning. I'm one of these people who wants to learn, to gain new skills, and to be the best I possibly can. Today I started to learn 'Let Her Go' on guitar and it was amazing. So thankful for all the people who widen my knowledge.
  5. Teaching. Linking to the one above I love to help people gain skills that they never knew they had. Dance teaching has always been my dream job and how lucky I am to be able to do some now. Just seeing improvements in technique and confidence gives me my own boost.
  6. Singing. I love to sing. Getting my uke out and having a bit of a sing song session tends to happen once a week. Occasionally the piano gets played too. Music is magical. 
  7. Driving. I think it's mainly to do with where I live. I totally love to go out on a drive with my music on and windows down. I guess it's the freedom which comes with it.
  8. The unexpected. I guess this can be seen as a bad thing, but sometimes I love unexpected results. Today my best friend called out of the blue and it was lovely to talk to her. I love unexpected post, and bumping into people. 
  9. My camera. Whether it's my DSLR or my iPhone, I love taking pictures. I like documenting things which have happened, whether it's just on Facebook or in a scrapbook. One day I'm going to get a polaroid camera ..
  10. Plans. Yes, I do get stressed by plans most of the time, but I like making plans to see people or do things. I always think it's important to have something to look forward to every month, which I tend to do. 
Bit of a cheesy blog this one, I'm sure I'll share some of my deeper thoughts eventually. As for now, it's time to sleep.. I'll try make this a weekly thing!
Kate x